Why Respect for Women Is Missing, Why Dowry Still Kills, and Why Society Punishes the Innocent
In India, we often say we
are proud of our culture, traditions, and values. We talk about respect,
family, and morality. But when we look at reality, a painful question appears
again and again: Why do many men, especially young men and even school boys,
lack basic respect for women?
This is not a small issue. It is
connected to dowry deaths, online abuse, victim blaming, and the everyday
suffering of innocent and poor people. It also explains why society gets angry
over small things but ignores cruelty happening right in front of us.
This article tries to understand why
this happens, how it starts, and why change feels so difficult.
Respect Is Not Being Taught, It
Is Being Replaced
Respect for women is not
something people are born with. It is taught, seen, and learned.
Many boys grow up watching:
- Women doing all housework without
appreciation
- Mothers being silenced in family decisions
- Sisters being controlled “for their safety”
- Men being forgiven for bad behaviour
When a boy grows up seeing this
every day, he learns one thing clearly: women are expected to adjust,
tolerate, and stay quiet.
Schools often teach math and
science but avoid teaching basic human respect. Families teach boys how
to earn money, but not how to treat people equally. Slowly, respect is replaced
by entitlement.
Porn, Social Media, and the
Objectification of Women
Today, many young boys are
exposed to:
- Porn at a very early age
- Reels that sexualize women
- Memes that mock women’s pain
- Influencers who glorify dominance
These platforms rarely teach
consent, empathy, or responsibility. Instead, they show women as objects,
not humans with feelings.
When boys repeatedly see women
reduced to bodies, jokes, or insults, they stop seeing them as equals. Online
abuse becomes normal. Harassment feels harmless. And real-life behaviour
follows online behaviour.
Dowry Is Illegal, Yet Girls Still
Die
Dowry has been illegal in India
for decades. Yet every year, thousands of young women lose their lives because
of it.
Why?
Because law alone cannot
defeat mindset.
Dowry is still seen as:
- A status symbol
- Compensation for marriage
- A way to show “value” of the groom
In many homes, it is discussed
openly but denied publicly. Families say they don’t “demand” dowry, yet they
emotionally pressure the girl’s family. When expectations are not met, the
woman suffers silently - through abuse, threats, or neglect.
When deaths happen, society often
asks:
- “What did she do wrong?”
- “Why couldn’t she adjust?”
- “Why didn’t her parents give more?”
The criminal is forgotten. The
victim is questioned.
Why Is a Woman’s Choice So Hard
to Accept?
Respecting someone’s choice
should be basic. But in our society, a woman’s choices often make people angry.
Her choice to:
- Dress differently
- Study or work
- Love someone
- Marry or not marry
- Speak up
None of these harm others. Yet
they trigger hate.
Why?
Because control is mistaken for
culture. When people lose control over women, they feel threatened. Respect
feels like weakness to those who are used to power.
True respect means accepting that
others can live differently without attacking anyone. But this idea is
still uncomfortable for many.
Respect Is Not Optional, It Is
Mandatory
Respecting others is not a Favor.
It is not something you give only when you agree with them.
Respect means:
- You don’t abuse even when you disagree
- You don’t threaten someone’s safety
- You don’t mock pain or trauma
- You don’t justify violence
This applies to online spaces
too. Many people think words on a screen don’t matter. But online hate destroys
mental health, careers, and sometimes lives.
Freedom of opinion does not mean
freedom to dehumanize.
Why Poor and Innocent People
Suffer the Most
Whether it is dowry violence,
caste abuse, online harassment, or false blame, one pattern is clear: the
poor and innocent suffer more.
They lack:
- Legal awareness
- Money to fight long cases
- Social power
- Media attention
Power protects the powerful.
Silence crushes the weak.
Rich offenders hire lawyers.
Influential families settle matters quietly. Meanwhile, innocent people spend
years fighting for justice - or give up entirely.
Why Society Gets Angry at Small
Things
We get angry about:
- Clothes
- Food habits
- Language
- Movies
- Social media posts
But we ignore:
- Domestic violence
- Dowry deaths
- Child abuse
- Online harassment
- Corruption
Why?
Because small things are easy
targets. They don’t require courage. Fighting cruelty requires effort,
honesty, and self-reflection. It also forces society to accept its own
failures.
So, we shout about symbols and
stay silent about suffering.
Silence Is Also Violence
When society stays silent:
- Abusers feel safe
- Victims feel alone
- Cruelty becomes normal
Silence sends a message that pain
doesn’t matter unless it affects us personally.
Every time we ignore harassment,
laugh at sexist jokes, or blame victims, we contribute to the problem - even if
we never directly harm anyone.
Where Change Must Begin
Real change will not come only
from laws or slogans. It must begin at three levels:
1. At Home
Teach boys respect, not
dominance. Teach girls self-worth, not silence.
2. In Schools
Teach consent, empathy, equality,
and responsibility - not just marks.
3. In Society
Stop glorifying control. Stop
excusing cruelty. Stop blaming victims.
Respect is not western. Equality
is not anti-culture. Humanity is universal.
A Society Is Judged by How It
Treats Its Weakest
A society is not judged by how
loudly it celebrates festivals or traditions. It is judged by how it treats
women, children, and the powerless.
If we continue ignoring real
cruelty and fighting imaginary threats, innocent people will keep suffering.
Change starts when we stop asking
“Why are they like this?” and start asking “What are we teaching,
tolerating, and normalizing?”
Respect is not a choice.
It is the minimum requirement to call ourselves human.
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